Redefining superheroes

I hear weird noises emanating from fake conversations. If that's not superpower, i don't know what is. There are all kinds of people with varied skill sets not realizing how special each one of us is. Waking up every morning could be something that sets us apart from the ones who choked on their vomit. Please tell me that i'm mistaken. Please tell me that being alive in moments of despair doesn't make us superheroes. I always felt superheroes are fake. I knew even at the age of six that Superman and his cape wasn't enough to save the world. Superpowers matter as long as you don't have to explain it to anyone. A mother with two hands taking good care of a family of seven doesn't require validation. She's a superhero by default. But every passing episode, Superman had to remind us that he's not one of us. Aren't humans basically mutants with no superpower whatsoever? Growing up, i convinced myself that not having one is a superpower too. Not doing anything at all is really difficult.

Hence, i'm listing out my superpowers that may or may not matter...

My superpower is spent in keeping my jaws shut.

My superpower is me sitting quietly on a chair for hours.

My superpower is my ability to laugh as if i understand everything.

My superpower is wanting to learn all the useless trivia.

My superpower is lost in waiting endlessly.

My superpower is forcing people to give up on me.

My superpower is contributing to your boredom.

My superpower is not knowing what to say.

My superpower is making her smile against her wish.

My superpower is in killing time and keeping procrastination alive.

My superpower is making you pay with your attention.

My superpower is logging out without wasting too much time on logging out.

PS: Despite all these, i can't stop Monday from happening. Or take a dump while flying the way pigeons do.