Monday, March 30, 2015

Neither drink nor miss

I've got nothing against alcohol. I just don't like it mixing with my blood stream. I may not be the most sensible person around but i prefer to be in control of my faculties. I've spent more than a quarter of a century without it (if one excuses the occasional cough syrups) and i intend to continue doing so for the rest of my time. In the meanwhile, i've got nothing against those who consume it either—anymore. It's their liver (which is deservedly called so on the virtue of performing 500 bodily functions in order to keep us alive) so who am i to judge? However, i thoroughly resent it when somebody with a drink in his hand at a social do goes "You should try at least once". 
Here's the deal: You never try anything JUST ONCE. It isn't within human nature to quit after just one sip. Or bite. Or anything else for that matter. Our curiosity has a way with us. Which is why i find it remarkably stupid when somebody says "You can't possibly know if you haven't tried" with pretentious confidence.
Well, i know, sir. 
Just like you know that a cock in your mouth isn't good for you. You never had to suck one to be 100% sure that it isn't for you, right?
Exactly my point.
And the same applies to you too, miss.
Have you tried anal? 
OK, let's not get in there. 

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